I used to enjoy winning trials that put someone in jail or prison. When I left the government and opened my own criminal law practice, I got satisfaction from winning trials that got someone out of jail or prison. Now I wonder more about how they got to where they were at that moment. I told myself I was just doing my job on either side, but I never examined the plot.
I once drove by my girlfriend’s parents’ house in the middle of the night to see if she was home. Her car never showed up after several drive-bys. Calling her my girlfriend was really a stretch since it was a secret relationship and she was still married. She told me they were separated. She told me a lot of things. I made myself believe them all. I don’t remember how we broke up.
I used to drink and drive a lot. I thought I was invincible, even though there was absolutely no evidence of that. I don’t know if I was having fun. I don’t know what I was chasing. I don’t even like to leave the house anymore except to go to work.
My stepbrother, Erik, and I used to wear Clearasil in the world so we wouldn’t have to reapply it later. Most of the time it was the tinted kind, but sometimes we just went with the white crust. We weren’t going out or anything, but maybe through a drive-thru or to Carvel. Sometimes when I see my daughter, she has a couple of these stars on her face. She told me they were for pimples. I think they look cute on her. Erik and I never looked cute.
I used to roll my eyes a lot in arguments with my girlfriends. They found it very annoying and distasteful. I tried to come up with excuses for it in my head, but they all sounded so stupid. The truth was, I rolled my eyes on purpose, and I wanted to annoy them. It wasn’t about the specific argument; it was about arguing. I’ve solved that problem by never dating.
I once went to Japan with a pretty famous artist. I felt like another person when I was with her. We had never been together before the trip. We lived in different countries. It ended badly, and I threw out all of the letters she ever wrote me. I miss the letters.
© Jonathan Greene, November 12, 2026
