It All Comes Out In the Wash
Essays Jonathan Greene Essays Jonathan Greene

It All Comes Out In the Wash

The universe loves to lay bets on a seesaw. Watch for it the next time a bird takes a flying dump on a pedestrian’s head, and you laugh. Yours is coming when you least expect it. Splatter. The clock turns, and we start all over again.

Read More
Kicking Dandelions
Essays Jonathan Greene Essays Jonathan Greene

Kicking Dandelions

Nothing is quite like the sound of a woodpecker. Peck, peck, peck. Horns honk in unmoving traffic. Jimmy chews his gum in rhythm with the off-center clock in the corner of Math class. The last water on Earth is a kiddie pool.

Read More
A Panoply of Randomness
Essays Jonathan Greene Essays Jonathan Greene

A Panoply of Randomness

Late at night, dreams intersect. A caterpillar inches up a leaf. A dew drop forms on your front lawn. We are all one second from failure.

Read More
The Stories We Tell Ourselves
Essays Jonathan Greene Essays Jonathan Greene

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

I once rubbed poison ivy all over my body at summer day camp because the girl I liked said the plant in question was not poison ivy. She was smart, and I showed up the next day with Calamine lotion all over my body. Side note: I love the smell of Calamine lotion. I once slept over at her house, in a bunk bed, when I was less than ten. I can see the room. I have a photo of her and me on the beach. It’s sweet. I believe this story to be accurate, but I worry about what happens when it fades.

Read More
What’s In a Name
Essays Jonathan Greene Essays Jonathan Greene

What’s In a Name

Jonathan Greene. Lame. Jonnie. Jon. Lame. Why couldn’t I have been Jox Hundred? What were they thinking? And what was I thinking when I named my kids? Basic. I am so basic. What’s in a name? Do you want to be rescued in a superhero movie by Zee Thousand or Jon Greene? No contest.

Read More
Carrying a Heavy Sack Across the Desert
Essays Jonathan Greene Essays Jonathan Greene

Carrying a Heavy Sack Across the Desert

If I were carrying a heavy sack across the desert, I would probably lay it down somewhere and try to rest. I am 55 now, and I don’t have the physical fortitude that I used to. I’m someone’s aging dad who can pass for 42, with a body that feels like 61. Some mornings, I wake up feeling like a million bucks. Other mornings, I consult my Health chat to make sure I’m not dying. We are all dying.

Read More
Dump Truck
Essays Jonathan Greene Essays Jonathan Greene

Dump Truck

Sometimes it feels like a dump truck pulled into your yard while you were sunbathing and decided to unload a bed of sand onto you. You became the sandcastle. Your day became the shells washing back out to sea. The seagulls picked nits out of your hair. You submerged yourself endlessly so the dream would stop. You woke up.

Read More