The Stories People Tell Themselves

Essays

Aug 5

Negotiation against a false narrative is like digging a hole in dry dirt with a long stick. I actually had to do this when I went to Tipitapa, Nicaragua, to build three homes in three days several years ago. The people I met who lived there were not telling themselves any stories. They knew how it was.

People’s responses in business settings are like a carnival of oddities inside a smoked glass mirror hanging from fishing wire attached to a high dive. I don’t know which way is up. I don’t know if they know what is real anymore. I think they smirk a little when they text these stories.

How do you corroborate a story that is so convoluted that the ends of the straight line almost touch each other? Magic tricks that don’t work. No illusions can make the truth a soft mirage. We can see through the fog. Sometimes, there is honor in the fog.

If it cannot be proven false, it can apparently be said, especially over a text message or email, even though that is far more permanent than a phone call. The only people who need to talk on the phone are trying not to document something in other ways. He said. She said. They said.

The hair falls down Bobby’s neck in the barber chair. He sees hair from three people merging at his feet. He tells his mom he will be late for dinner. He tells a story to tell a story because everything else seems so beige. The real story is that there is no story. Bobby is just bored.

People are hard to trust because of their stories. Trust but verify. Verify with a keen eye. Open your eyes to the obvious. There was so much I missed when I kept my eyes closed, hoping I wasn’t being conned as much as I thought I was. It was more. It wasn’t a story. I was the story.