Pulling At a String That Never Ends

Essays

Aug 28

When you are talking to a liar, their story keeps getting deeper and deeper into the abyss. No matter which way you go, they have another path they will go down. They don’t even know what is true and what is not anymore because their whole life is a fabrication. You can’t reason with unreason. You just look at the dark hole and let them wander themselves back into it as you pull away to go get a Cherry Coke from the 7-11 up the block.

The more you think about something, the less clear it gets. The second you stop thinking about it, the answer comes. It’s why my best ideas come when walking, in the shower, or in the car. I am doing something else besides focusing on my focus. The universe is a backstop to our future, as long as we leave it alone. You can’t find the end of something that is endless.

In The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, a well plays a major role in Haruki Murakami’s story. The main character descends into a well to sit. No distractions. No light. He said it smelled musty, but it was still attractive to me. The thought of getting out using the ladder, but choosing not to, is like knowing you have someone to bail you out of jail after a Disorderly Conduct arrest, but choosing to remain for a while. It’s what you deserve.

When someone puts a wall up to shield themselves from reliving something, you can’t climb that wall. That’s a personal assault on a friendship. The wall is there for a reason, and you have to let them press the lever to lower it when they are ready. Not when you want to know. Patience is what keeps you holding the string. Persistence results in a sharp scissor cut and an unspooling.

I just got certified mail from an attorney’s office looking to settle the estate of my late uncle in court. A relative of mine stole the estate and committed elder abuse, and will likely spend the rest of his life receiving lightning karma for it, but it’s hard to prove. He was a wolf in shlub’s clothing. The reason why he would do this evades me, but people have a greed mechanism that can kill them. Maybe not yet, but at some point. I wonder where that string began.

A long time ago, I made the decision to stop pulling at strings that never end. When someone doesn’t want to answer, that is that. I am no longer in the business of investigation and would much rather spend my time shuffling my fantasy football roster at the last second on a late Sunday morning than trying to drill into steel to get a dixie cup of lukewarm water.